IM SO FUCKING DONE
friend: you speak french?
friend: say something in french!
me: je suis venu ici pour passer un bon moment et je suis honnêtement sentir si attaqué dès maintenant
thats the whole game
if anne hathaway doesnt say anne hatharrived every time she walks into a room she’s wasting a great opportunity
story time when i was 16 my mom and i were watching ellen and my mom says
‘oh look my favorite lesbian!’
and i said ‘i thought i was your favorite lesbian?’
and she just stared at me for a moment and said
‘oh ok. ‘
and we just continued watching
and thats how i came out to my mother
Fucking A Star.
do you ever catch yourself thinking of something so weird and fucked up that you have to stop mid-thought and your face is
to this day i think the best response to street harassment is when i saw this two dickheads from my block riding around yelling at girls and they screamed “SHOW US YOUR TITS” to this one woman who was running and she just took off her sunglasses and stared them down and you could hear “OH FUCK THAT’S MY MOM HIT THE GAS” and i’m pretty sure that boy is still grounded
i remember when i was 14 this kid asked me out and i told him i wasnt allowed to date till i was 16 and he said “i’ll wait.”
two years later he wished me a happy birthday and asked me out
did you say yes
DID YOU FUCKING SAY YES
so oxygen went on a date with potassium today…it went OK.
i thought oxygen was dating magnesium…OMg
actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like “NO”
I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins
looks like someone’s a HO
i’m done with all of you
So I finally found the science side